Guilty Guilty Me.

I thought I was over this, I felt guilty whenever I left Minnie when she was little, even if it was to have some ‘me’ time. But apparently I am not.

She does have a tendencies to throw a wobbler when we leave her with babysitters, particularly in the evenings. The ‘wobbler’ usually lasts about 10 minutes but leaves me feeling terrible and think ‘maybe we don’t need a date night’ or ‘maybe I should phone to girls and apologise for missing yet another birthday gathering’.

This morning we had the same scenario but for some reason it pulled on my heart strings more than usual. I dropped Minnie off at my parents house before work and she caught me trying to leave discreetly (must not be one of my talents) and begun crying and clinging to me with all her might.

All this and both my parents were there for her entertainment as well as my niece who is possibly one of Minnie’s favourite people. She wouldn’t settle but I had to leave her because I had a meeting to attend. It broke my heart.

It left me wondering whether I will ever grow some balls or whether Minnie will beat me to it and just give up caring whenever we go out?!

Admittedly this doesn’t happen every day, she is quite used to ‘us’, mainly J, dropping her off with our child minder/my aunt and she is happy to us go. I like to tease J and say that it’s because I am her favourite parent, but its obviously because this is a routine she is used to so she knows we will be back, eventually.

Maybe its the result of our family holiday, she just loved being with us all day everyday!

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I really thought I was starting to grow a thick skin, as Minnie has recently started to pushed boundaries and thrown tantrums, it has been me who has tried to be stern and reinforce the boundaries. But apparently I am a softy at heart who can’t handle the cries for ‘mama mama’. *sob*

All of this teamed with the fact that following our holiday I actually feel like Minnie is growing up is not a good combination. She is actually capable of making friends of her own and socialising when we go to parks, playgroups etc. She no longer looks for me for assistance and is quite happy approaching even bigger kids and getting involved. Admittedly she’s 19 months so I still watch her like a hawk but the progress she is making is both scary (for me) and fantastic. All we need is a little more speech and she will be away. (I will probably be blogging in a few months about how Minnie never stops talking ).

I can really see how some mums continue having babies to fill this gap, it can be quite depressing if you dwell on it. I am not quite depressed yet so no babies are being planned.

xxSxx

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Holidaying in Hindsight

messy pup I attempted a substantial blog post while still on my travels but if seems the wifi in our hotel wasn’t playing ball so rather than delete my last post I thought I would elaborate here.

We are back to reality and it hurts *sobs*. Back to work and the tedious routine having had the bank holiday routine to adjust.

Our holiday was fab, we stayed at a Thomson Family Resort which catered for a child’s every need.

Minnie spent her days, eating, swimming and taking full advantage of all the playgrounds and kids rooms/toys which were available.

BIKINI

The facilities for babies were fantastic, there was even a Baby Lounge by the pool which microwave, steriliser, changing station and cot. It was so convenient rather than having to go all the way back up to the room.

She would dance at the Little Pups club every evening and absolutely loved it.

I don’t want to jinx myself for future holidays but I didn’t know holidaying with kids could be so stress-free and value for money!

That was until are journey home…..the dreaded happened….Minnie had a full blown tantrum on the plane before we had even taken off!

I was sat separately from J because there were no available seats and just as we starting taxiing Minnie realised that he was sitting separately a few rows in front begun wailing for her ‘mum mum mum’ she’s been calling J mum for a few months now with the occasional Daddy thrown in to show us she does actually know what he should be called!

She screamed and got herself in a right state while I attempted to pacify her and wanted the ground to swallow me! Eventually she wore herself out, it was 2am, passing out on my lap for the full 4hours.

I didn’t know how uncomfortable an already cramped plane seat could be with a passed out 19 month old on your lap! I was grateful when we landed and I could use my legs again.

But all I all it was a fantastic two weeks of quality time, I am eager to book the next one!

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xxSxx

Holidaying 

We left for holiday at 4.30am. i had tummy twists worrying how potentially wrong it could all go if Minnie was not happy!

She woke up when I disturbed her beauty sleep to take her to the taxi but was thankfully well behaved on the journey to Gatwick. She was probably too disorientated to put up a fuss.  

The airport is a funny scenario; our flight had lots of kids and lots of anxious mums making ‘here we go’ eyes at each other. There’s like a camaraderie amongst mums travelling and it’s all signalled by nods of the heads and gentle smirks 

Protesting for longer weekends!!

Monday mornings are tough, I think most people would agree. But Monday mornings when the weekend feels like it last only five minutes are the worst.

I finished work early and had a baby free night on Friday, call me ungrateful but I could do with another weekend!

I can only put this down to the lack of down time over the weekend. Saturday I was up early trying to squeeze some exercise in, albeit with a slightly sore head from too many margaritas! Followed by watching J play football and a friend’s birthday BBQ. Minnie fell asleep on our way home so she was full of beans all evening.

Sunday was a family filled day full of cooking, Colombian arepas and a very British fry up for breakfast, roast dinner for lunch and a lasagne prepped for dinner today.

I wouldn’t change any of the above, apart from maybe the sore head, I just wish I had managed to nap at some point.

I love cooking and I love having a house full of people, especially when it includes my cousins who were paying a visit from Belfast.

Before I knew it my alarm was going off this morning at 6am and I was trying to hide under the duvet.

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I am now officially counting down the days until our family holiday. Two weeks in the sun…bliss.

My post-boxercise Monday evening is definitely going to include an early night, I just hope that Minnie is in the same mood!!

xxSxx

Date Night 

I booked massages as a valentines gift to J. I found a really good deal on Groupon so decided to book for both of us.

J plays a lot of sport and he’s always wanting a massage or sports rub down.

We booked the afternoon off work and had our massages at a little spa. Followed by dinner at one of our fave restaurants Big Easy in Chelsea. We got there so early we ended up ordering from the lunchtime menu which was only £9.95 for two courses, bargain! The margaritas were flowing freely, I love the different flavours and defo tried a couple!

We are really fortunate on the babysitter front because one of our parents is usually available to have Minnie over night.

I think it’s so important to have some time out just the two of us, even if we spend the whole time talking about Minnie! It’s nice to get out as a couple.

xxSxx

When the sun shines on London

ice creamI was so pleased that my day off yesterday coincided with the best weather of the week; this rarely happens!

Minnie and I embraced the sunshine on a budget because we have a holiday fast approaching.

We went to meet J for a picnic lunch in the park near his work and let Minnie run wild.

J’s not one for cold food; it never occurred to me that this practice might be British thing? If we were at home he’d want the sausage rolls warmed up before he can snack on them! Nevertheless we enjoyed our cold sausage rolls, cocktail sausages and humus in the lovely warm sun….I felt like I was abroad. Obviously reality kicked back in when J had to return to work so after Minnie had a little nap we were off to meet her Godmother in a different park to enjoy playing football and eating ice cream.

We are lucky to have a few lovely parks near us that weren’t too busy given that some of the schools have gone back following the Easter holidays.

Minnie is happy as long as she can run around so summer months are pretty easy entertainment. Taking Minnie out, even once a week can work out so expensive sometimes.

Lots of walking for me which can never be a bad thing when I am preparing to wear a bikini and lots of fun in the sun. Perfect Wednesday and Minnie slept like a log.

xx S xx

When Minnie went Missing….for 10 seconds

The fear when you lose sight of you child in a public place is indescribable.

Yesterday was day off work with Minnie, part of the day was spent shopping for holiday clothes.

Shopping is not one of Minnie’s favourite past times so by the second shop she was itching to get out of the buggy and eventually I gave in.

We were in Primark which is quite a large shop and she was walking around clothes stands which was fine while I could keep an eye on her but then she disappeared.

I panicked! I called out to her and looked for her but couldn’t see her at all.

I headed towards the shop doorway where the security guard must have seen the fear in my eyes and asked me what was wrong. I told him I couldnt find my daughter and he started looking with me. In the same instant Minnie came running towards us both.

Ahh the relief, I could of kissed her!

The whole incident probably lasted about 10 seconds but it felt a lot longer.

The security guard came over to speak to Minnie and distract her while I strapped her back in her buggy and bribed her to stay there with raisins.

Needless to say I will not be giving in to Minnie quite so easily next time especially when I don’t have her reigns to hand.

xx S xx 

 

Flying High or Stressed…

Minnie and I took our first flight, alone, recently.

It wasn’t a long flight just a domestic flight to Belfast to visit family for a long weekend. I thought, oh its only a couple of hours we will be fine and raring to go by the time we get there.

I forgot how tiring looking after Minnie can be without the added stress of passing through airport security, entertaining her in the airport, as well as the boarding ‘experience’ and the flight itself.
In fairness to Heathrow Terminal 5, the staff were really helpful at security, even offering to hold Minnie while I put my shoes through the x-ray machine; which Minnie obliged because she was so dazed by all the people and commotion everywhere.

The airport itself was busy busy busy and pushing a buggy with a holdall over your back isn’t the easiest but there was a soft play area which entertained Minnie for the short time we needed to wait for the gate to open.
Although having to keep one eye on our luggage while supervising her alone was…..difficult.

I am not a very trusting person you see; I do believe that if you leave things unattended they will get stolen. Just like if you leave anything valuable visible in your car, you’re likely to have your window smashed by someone who wants to steal said valuables. I grew up in London; it’s ingrained into me.

BA staff were also helpful allowing us to go through the gates first to board although by the time I had put the buggy down and got her towards the plane most of the other passengers had rushed past to get to their seats. It was almost an achievement that we reached our seat having manoeuvred a 17 month old and a holdall through the planes tiny aisle.

I relaxed slightly when two friendly ladies sat next to us but still found myself apologising profusely for every disturbing movement Minnie made. Am I the only one who does this? I wonder if sometimes I am a bit too polite, worried that I look like a bad parent if my daughter is disturbing the peace.

Small, repetitive movements such as kicking her legs into the chair in front, would not usually bother me one bit and yet when faced with enclosed spaces and a plane full of strangers, manage to fill me with complete panic! What will people think??!!

We spent most of the short flight opening and closing the window cover, watching the Mickey Mouse hot dog song on repeat and eating snacks, Minnie did not want to nap it was all far too exciting. We were in Belfast in no time and the airport fairies had conveniently left the pushchair as near to the plane as they could.

The sense of achievement that we had arrived in one piece was fantastic!

xxSxx

Momentous First Blog…A Day in the Life…

My blog, like my life for the last 17 months and probably the 9 months I was aware of my pregnancy will revolve around my daughter, Minnie. I am aware that there are times I feel like I am the only parent in the world who is dealing with food throwing or a point blank refusal to eat, but then I read other blogs and smile to myself that these things are more normal than I first thought. This is one of the many reasons I wanted to start this blog. Juggling full time work and looking after Minnie is no easy feat, as I am sure parents everywhere know. For us a daily routine consists of me leave the house in the morning before she has woken up, J drops her off before he starts work and I return once they are both back home. Luckily this means I am home for dinner, bath, In the Night Garden, story and bed….eventually! When I first started back at work Minnie was 9 months old and sometimes she would already be in bed when I got home so I could go almost 48 hours without seeing her awake. On those days I felt like I was a new mum again battling hormones and could quite easily cry, I missed her so much. I think if I had continued like this I would definitely have reconsidered working full time, what’s the point if there is no balance? Now when I return home it is rarely to a sleeping baby; sometimes I come home to the sounds of salsa playing in my house and Minnie and her dad dancing around the living room and other days she’s already in her high chair chomping on dinner. No two days are the same. I have grabbed the ‘flexible working’ policy my employer provides with both hands, so I get to spend Wednesdays at home with Minnie while Daddy goes to work and weekends are family time. xx S xx